Care

header image

I had become very comfortable with the way things were going in my life. I had everything anyone could ever want. However, much of what I was doing was on my own, and my heart had become misaligned with what God desired for me. I hid behind a religious mask and my heart was proud and unbroken. The pride in my heart caused me to pretend to be somebody that I wasn't. One day I took a step that I thought was in obedience for one reason, but God had a whole other plan for me. I left a job that I had been at for quite some time, and accepted another position where I thought God was leading me. The new job fell through, and I had nothing. One day a very dear friend of mine challenged me and told me that I needed to examine my heart and allow God to show me who He is, and what was inside my heart.

At first I was defensive and couldn't imagine what he meant by that challenge. Nevertheless, I began to pray and ask God to do what He had to do in me. Within 24 hours, God began His work by breaking me and laying my heart wide open - a sort of "open heart surgery." The pure light of His holiness exposed the ugliness of sin and resentment that had built up in my heart toward others. He showed me how I had lived for quite some time doing things on my own and not submitting to Him.

God had to remove me from that comfortable place where I wasn't listening to Him, and put me in a place where I had no choice but to submit to Him. I had to humble myself and confess my desperate need for His mercy. In obedience, I had to go confess my sin to some people that I had hurt by the actions that had come out of my sinful heart. God poured out His grace on me, and those people also graciously granted me forgiveness. God made me weak and childlike - I was unemployed and I had no idea what my future held, yet I experienced peace in my heart like never before.

Once I gave God all the pieces, it was amazing what He did with my broken heart. When I met God in brokenness, He responded by lavishing me with the riches of His kingdom and reviving my heart. I had to absolutely surrender my will to the will of God and submit myself to His direction. He showed me that pure love and devotion can only be expressed out of a broken, contrite heart - a heart that recognizes the greatness of my sin and the surpassing greatness of His grace. In His timing, God has blessed me with a perfect job in which I can use my talents and gifts to serve Him every day. I pray that the sweet fragrance of Christ will always be released through me. And, through daily brokenness, He will continue to bring wholeness and increased fruitfulness.

Updated February 12, 2010